Happy 9 months Harrison!!
You have been changing so much over the last month. You are crawling on your knees now. You are pulling up on things. You are into everything. This much more mobile lifestyle brings on more crashes and falls. It is a part of it my love. You are going to have bumps and bruises. We don’t make a big deal over the falls so you know you are ok. We stand up, brush you off, and move on. I let you play alone (I’m of course in the room supervising) but you play well. It is a nice time to just watch you. We don’t speak, I do not fuss over you, we just “be” together. You want to be read to when you are getting close to a nap. I pretty much have many of the books memorized now so we sometimes just sit and I recite them. It is great you want to be read to over wanting other things. I hope it continues. We are outside much more these days. You have a swing now and you love it. It’s one of those things I dreamt of when I thought of my family - a swing in a tree. One of those milestones that makes my motherhood all I hoped it would be.
Two weeks ago we had a bad storm come through. Your dad was at work this night and we had gone to bed. After being asleep a few hours lightening crashed outside. It jolted me awake and I heard you crying out. I ran in and scooped you up not hesitating to bring you into bed with me. I laid there with you in my arms protecting you from the thunder and lightning and having a moment. A moment where I knew this would be what I do in years to come. You will be protected from any storms that frighten you. I remember being comforted in this way and I will do the same for you.
This weekend is my first Mother’s Day. Being a mother will have many faces throughout the years. Right now I am your caregiver and life support. I will become your hand holder to cross the street. I will be a mother that can only kiss you when no one is looking. I will be your disciplinarian and we will butt heads because of this. And down the road when you are a true adult we can be friends. I’ve seen this cycle with my mother and brother and one day you will understand all of the times I told you “no” to a party or I wouldn’t let you spend the night with someone whom I never met their parents you will know I did that out of love. A dear friend told me that if you didn’t resent me during your adolescence then I was doing something wrong. I have to agree with her. Giving into your every wish will not do you any justice and you will have a harder time growing up and becoming who you are meant to be. But that is years off and this weekend I will enjoy the milestone that I am being celebrated as a mother. Thank you for making me one.
I love you,
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